In an unprecedented move, the Labor Party, Democrats & Greens have forged a passionate & intimate bond in an attempt to persuade voters to restore the balance of power to the Senate. The threesome have decided to ram the point home by launching an online offensive, destined to shock & horrify constituents.
“We’ve never done this before”, Greens Senator Bob Brown exclaims sheepishly, as the camera pans an all too telling physiognomy.
The move aims to challenge some of the single-handed antics of the Coalition in the Senate over the last parliamentary term.
“We can’t do the great job we need to and make laws better while one side calls all the shots”, notes visibly frustrated Democrats Senator Lyn Allison.
The tryst has summoned a significant backlash from the government, with Senate Leader Nick Minchin disgustedly asserting the alliance would impose a “frightening reality” on the country’s policy agenda, warning of the potential for the radical left-wing of politics to act “in cahoot(er)s” with Labor’s Left to block or abolish key reforms.
Deputy Prime Minister Mark Vaile was moreover reported to assert that “parents should fear Labor would secretly agree to support the Greens’ policy of relaxing regulations on X-rated videos” – comments which have served only to bolster the sensual tripartite attack, sparking preliminary talks with popular dating agencies of expanding its online presence in the form of adultvotefinder.com.
The publicity surrounding the risqué strategy has, however, not been without substance. In the early hours of this morning, the scintillating trio of Greens Senator Bob Brown, Democrats leader Lyn Allison & ACT Labor Senator Kate Lundy rendezvoused on the lawns of Old Parliament House to announce a revised tri-partisan integrated policy on Aboriginal reconciliation, climate change & telecommunications, outlining details of the policy via the bold medium of interpretive dance. The three were reported to have been stark naked throughout the entirety of the 4-hour launch.
The organisation responsible for igniting the magic by bringing the parties together, dubiously named ‘GetUp‘, has issued a widespread plea for donations to assist in funding airing of the video footage. Financial estimates reveal substantial donations to be flowing from all over Australia & abroad, with particular generosity being sourced from & including the surrounding suburbs of Fyshwick in Canberra.
Filed under: Australian Politics, Elections, Humour, Politics Tagged: | Australian Democrats, GetUp, Greens, Labor Party, Senate
I love GetUp, and it’s good to see them promoting good politicians rather than just attacking bad ones. I find it odd that so many people are members of GetUp, yet the political party which has identical policies, the Australian Democrats struggles for members. I guess the brand was damaged when they boned Natasha.
Anyway, the problem with GetUp is that non-parliamentary representation was shown to be a failure in the 60s and 70s, which is why the progressive movement formed the Democrats. You need to be in parliament to make changes.
What you say is interesting, Luke. I think you’re right about the Democrats being an issue of branding. Although I think the brand ‘keeping the bastards honest’ was damaged by a combination of factors as well as the demise of Natasha: Cheryl Kernot defecting to Labor, Meg Lees and the GST…
While it is true you need to be in Parliament to make specific changes, you can effect change from the outside.
It’s all good for democracy. I recently went and heard John Kane talk about lobbying and democracy and the book he is currently working on. He identifies an interesting shift in history in the phenomenon of power now in a whole heap of relatively unaccountable institutions which are designed to keep a check on more traditional sources of power (like the executive and parliament). The thing is, these institutions have some degree of power themselves. GetUp would definitely fall within this category.
Where our system of parliamentary democracy fails us, groups like GetUp will emerge. It’s nice to see that apathy isn’t completely endemic to Australian society.